Ladies of the Clam Jam

Be it known, we are females, the Ladies of The Clam Jam to be exact.

We are females tired of patting our friends’ backs and stroking their hair as they cry about another One Night Stand (ONS) that didn’t call them back. 

Get over it.

Did you really expect him to take you home to meet his parents after passing out half-naked on his bed and reeking of alcohol?

Didn’t think so.

Pick your head up ladies, put your clothes back on and realize you’re just not that special….to him at least.

Let me guess, he shooed you away in the morning and when you asked what he was doing that day he told you he was taking his dog to get shampooed?

Does he even have a dog?

When you run up to him in the bar and he acts like he doesn’t know you while schmoozing up another potential ONS do you cry the rest of the night and ruin your make-up?

Possibly drool a little while snot seeps out of your nostrils?

Come on…
What makes you think I want to be in the bathroom wiping your nose while that new Kesha song is bumping?

Now, this isn’t some man-bashing blog. We love men—maybe a little too much.

(via)

We love to look at them, peep out the window when we hear some bros rolling past on their way to the bars, gym, walking their dogs, or going to work in the morning. They’re precious gifts which, as of late, we realize must be handled with care or their fragile wittle feewings will get hurt.

Through our experience with men we have found that they are clingers, moochers, and crazies, just like they claim girls to be. Understand that we ladies of The Clam Jam have all been in long drawn out relationships. We’ve had our share of serial monogamy but why waste more precious time being lame? Especially while living in Baltimore, where the Boh (and men) are free flowing?

Again, we must emphasize that we love men and the beauty that they impart on the world. Our love is so strong in fact it spawned our favorite past time, playing The Game.

One night a Yet-to-be-Named Clam came home and received high-fives all around after telling her fellow clams how she totally dodged another sucker from the bar. It was then that we clams realized that we should get some sort of credit for our skill—for not falling for old pick-up lines and the usual showboating that the men like to do. That night we clams decided to create a way to monitor and use our own lady clam skills in our favor (against the men).

The Game, as we call it, was born.

To be brief, The Game has an established points system for DFMOs (Dance-Floor Make-Outs—Thanks Bohs & Os), phone numbers, and going on dates (to name a few), as well as the new favorite point possibility—points for a man embarrassing himself for you.

To learn a more detailed description about The Game, and to learn how we clams rack up the points click here.

The Game and the scoring can get really funny. What some most guys would do if they had the slightest inkling they might get lucky.

A word to the wise, from the wisdom of clams: 

Guys: Stop doing this to yourself.

The outcome is not pretty for you. 

With that being said, we clams welcome you to dip your toes into our little world. We hope you will join us  throughout our travels while we enjoy the single life, Bohs, the O's, The Game, our trials and tribulations (pertaining to the men of course), and all that the night life has to offer in our great city of Baltimore.

xoxo,

The Ladies of The Clam Jam